Luther 'Shark' Lavay: Coach, calm down you're gonna have a stroke!
Montezuma Monroe: I don't get strokes muthafucka! I give 'em!

Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.

Jill

Young Dr. Evil: Would it kill you to put on some clothes? Honestly it's like living with frickin Sasquatch.
Young Austin Powers: Hey, have you seen my Balzac?
Young Dr. Evil: I'm looking at your Balzac right now.

I have been a priest over 40 years, and I fell in love at least once every decade.

Father Havel

Alicia Casse: This could be our last night on Earth. I don't want to die a virgin.
Philip: If we do, we'll both die virgins, but at least we'll be together.

Dennis: Excuse me, can I just stop you there.
Whit: Yes...?
Dennis: Oh, I don't have anything to say... I just wanted to stop you there.

Charles: Yes, it's odd, isn't it? All these years we've been single and proud of it and never noticed that two of us were, in effect, married all this time.
Tom: Traitors in our midst.

Exact science, Mr Angier, is not an exact science.

Nikola Tesla

Happy Gilmore: You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?
Bob Barker: I don't want a PIECE of you, I want the whole THING!

Heather McNamara: God, they're not gonna expel him. they'll just suspend him for a week or something.
Heather Chandler: He used a real gun, they should throw his ass in jail.
Veronica Sawyer: He used blanks. all he did was ruin 2 pairs of pants, maybe not even that... can you bleach out urine stains?

Mr. Bialystock, I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a spine.

Leo Bloom

Ace Rothstein: All right, I'm gonna give you a choice. You can either have the money or you can walk out of here. You can't have both. What do you want?
Winner: I just wanna get outta here.
Ace Rothstein: Don't forget to tell your friends what happens if they fuck around in here. You understand?
Winner: I'm sorry. I made a bad mistake.
Ace Rothstein: You're fuckin' right, you made a bad mistake. 'Cause if you come back here - we catch either one of you - we're gonna break your fuckin' heads and you won't walk out of here. You see that fuckin' saw? We're gonna use it. You don't fuck around in this place. You got it?

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