Matrix: [holds the hotel key he stole from Sully that Cooke is staying at] Because I already know. Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That's right, Matrix! You did!
Matrix: I lied.

  • Permalink: I lied.
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This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!


You take it from here, Slugger.


Franny: Wilbur, what have you done? How could you bring HIM here?
Wilbur: That... is an excellent question.

Kurt: "He looks like James Bond!"
Dale: "He really does, dude! I bet he carries one of those guns that you screw the coolest guns they make, man!"
Nick: "This is so dangerous - what if that's an undercover cop? Or better yet, what if it's the real thing and he charges so much money, we can't afford it, he gets pissed off and kills us!"
Dale: "That's not gonna...he kills one of us?! Hold on - could that happen?"
(Not a Hitman knocks)
Nick: "Gotta let him in now."
Kurt: "How's my hair?"
Nick: "What do you mean, how's my hair?!"
Kurt: "It doesn't matter...okay, let's do this."

The only mistake I ever made was to appoint a sniveling little weasel like you Secretary of Defense. However, that is a mistake, I am happy to say, that I don't have to live with. Mr. Nimzicki... you're fired.

President Thomas Whitmore

Mike Erganian: What is the subject of your book? Non fiction?
Miles Raymond: Uh, no. It's... it's a novel. Fiction. Yes. Although there is quite a bit from my own life... so I suppose that, technically some of it is nonfiction.
Mike Erganian: Good I like non fiction. There is so much to know about this world. I think you read something somebody just invented, waste of time.
Miles Raymond: That's an interesting perspective.

Your eggs are dying. Would it kill you to go on a date?

Charlotte Phelan

Will Turner: This... is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's gonna save Elizabeth.

Jerry Lee Lewis: We're all going to hell for the songs we sing!
June Carter: And what about me, Jerry Lee; am I going to hell too?
Jerry Lee Lewis: No, June, you're beautiful.

The president's shitting bricks so high he can build the pyramids himself.

Jack O'Donnell

My sweet dick, it's magic!

Patches O'Houlihan

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