John Beckwith: "I never thought my sister would meet someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig?"
Claire Cleary: Yes, it's funny. It's funny because it's true.
John Beckwith: I know, but the funny because it's true bit only works if the truth is a very small thing like "everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha ha ha". Honestly, I think you're better off going for something from the heart.
Claire Cleary: I think people are going to love this.
John Beckwith: I think you're going to hear crickets.
Claire Cleary: No.
John Beckwith: Sounds of silence.
Claire Cleary: Uh uh.
John Beckwith: Ok, meet me at the back of the room, I'll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.

I put evil men behind bars, but the law has miles of red tape and loopholes for these cocksuckers to slip through.

Paul Smecker

Patrick: I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell you. So, how did you keep him distracted?
Kat Stratford: Oh, I dazzled him with my... wits.

I used to tell Walter, "Never start a fight... but always finish it." I didn't start this fight... but by god I'm going to finish it.

Christine Collins

I vow to live within the warmth of your heart.


I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...


I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.

Agent Smith

If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.

Angela Hayes

Peter Klaven: I'm Peter Klaven, I'm the Realtor.
Sydney Fife: Hey check out these too. That guy needs to fart.
Peter Klaven: He does seem to be clenching.
Sydney Fife: Watch the leg... Boom!
Peter Klaven: He farted in my open house.
Sydney Fife: He sure did.

I'm talkin' about friendship. I'm talkin' about character. I'm talkin' about - hell. Leo, I ain't embarrassed to use the word - I'm talkin' about ethics.

Johnny Caspar

Mary Jane Watson: [in Aunt May's backyard] I liked seeing you tonight, Peter.
Peter Parker: Oh boy, yeah...
Mary Jane Watson: Oh boy, yeah, what?
Peter Parker: Nothing.
Mary Jane Watson: You want to say something?
Peter Parker: I... was... wondering if you're still in the village...
Mary Jane Watson: You're such a mystery. Peter...
Peter Parker: What?
Mary Jane Watson: Happy Birthday!

Princess Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Yes, cherry flavored. Want a taste?

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