I'm just a stupid kid.

Charlie Bartlett

Cecile Caldwell: This sure doesn't taste like an iced tea.
Sebastian: It's from Long Island.

Jesse James: Go back to bed.
Robert Ford: I got to use the privy.
Jesse James: You think you do, but you don't.

Gertrude Steiney: You try getting ready quickly when you look like this! I'm so fat and there's gonna be nothing but beautiful skinny girls there!
Ollie: That's because they're all coked-out whores, honey.
Gertrude Steiney: [crying] I wanna be a coked-out whore!

Ben Stone: I'd want a little black baby.
Everett Stone: You already have a little black baby.
Ben Stone: Can ya dig it!

I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!

Detective John Kimble

Pick that up and put it down properly!

Chief Guard Barnes

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?

Wendy Leather: The papers said there was a woman involved. Martine, was it? Was she involved?
Terry Leather: Yeah, she brought us the job in the first place.
Wendy Leather: Oh, and did you sleep with her Terry?

Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body?
Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.

Ellen Roark: I keep thinking, what would Jake do? What would my father do? What would Lucien do?
Harry Rex Vonner: Well see, there's your problem. What you should be thinking is, what would Harry Rex do?
Ellen Roark: What would Harry Rex do?
Harry Rex Vonner: Cheat. Cheat like crazy.

The man stole my life. I steal his trick.

Robert Angier

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