[Evelyn has just kicked a poisonous snake towards Rick]
Rick: Those are poisonous, you know.
Evelyn: Only if they bite you.

Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree / He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee.


God didn't do this. We did!


Tibby: Hey, do you know who would have loved this P, Bee? Your mom.
Bridget: Yeah. I remember this one time she decided that she'd make one herself. She always woke up starving after one of her episodes. I was just sitting in the kitchen doing my homework and she just walked in and just started making this thing. You know, I don't even know if you could call it a pizza. It was more like the entire contents of our refrigerator on a round crust.

You don't know what you're getting yourself into.

Bella Swan

Randal Graves: If you break Dante's heart again, I'll kill you. Nothing personal.
Caitlin Bree: You sure are protective of Dante.

All you need is love.


One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.


Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You told him didn't you?
Crash Davis: Yup.

Jeremy Grey: Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?
Gloria Cleary: What?
Jeremy Grey: That we're all one. That seperateness is an illusion, and that I'm one with everyone - with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from 'What's Happening,' the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote 'Catcher in the Rye,' Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

Sarah Fenn: What are you going to do?
Bob Lee Swagger: Exercise my right to bear arms.

A 2000-year-old civilization and that's the best you can come up with? Shame on you. Shame on you!

Roy O'Bannon

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