Jack Sparrow: "The Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow." It has such a lovely ring to it...
[Will stares at him]
Jack Sparrow: ...and it's not a bad look, really...

Elias: Fuck Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like pussy!
Jay: [Looks at Silent Bob] Yo, we love pussy!

Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.

Larry Zoolander

Do it.

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[after killing Eddie Dane] That son of a bitch! I had a feeling about this son of a bitch! We silence him! And we do the same to Mink this very night!

Johnny Caspar

Don't be so British!


Ordell Robbie: This you and me talking, is this like a lawyer-client thing, and you can't repeat nothing I tell you?
Max Cherry: You're not my client until you get busted and I bond you out.
Ordell Robbie: Well, if we ain't got no - what's that shit called? - confidentiality, why should I tell you a thing?
Max Cherry: Because you want me to know what a slick guy you are. You got stewardesses bringing you fifty grand.
Ordell Robbie: Now why would a stewardess be bringing me fifty grand?
Max Cherry: Now you want me to speculate on what you do. My guess is you're in the drug business, except the money's moving the wrong way. Whatever you're into, you seem to be getting away with it, so more power to you.

I thought you would be bigger. I put your face on every bully I've ever hurt.

Hannibal Lecter

Deputy Clementine Johnson: You need to go to the store and get me some cranberry juice cuz it's gonna be one of those days!
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Uh oh, yeast infection time!

It was the summer before 9th grade, and there was me, Brian, Kenny, Scarface, and of course the lovable Old James... hold on, wait a minute... Old James... Old James wasn't there... I don't even know nobody named Old James.

Thurgood Jenkins

Wyatt: You ever want to be somebody else?
Stranger: I'd like to try Porky Pig.
Wyatt: I never wanted to be anybody else.

Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's NOT a genius? Do you especially think I'm NOT a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you?


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