I was taking a piss when I heard the news, congratulations!

Jay

Ellie: I don't see a way out of this.
Jessica: Well maybe there is.

Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Mugatu

Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.

Al Fountain: I can't believe it. I've been looking all over for this place. I don't know why, really. I spent a couple of days there when I was a kid, and, and I just remember having a really good time.
Old Motel Clerk: Me, too. My brother and I drowned a cat there once.
Al Fountain: Is that right?

Some of these people make me sick. But a law's been broken here. You do remember the law, don't you?

Joe Miller

Dr. Charles Nichols: Richard, I'm in the middle of this speech!
Dr. Richard Kimble: You almost got away with it, didn't you? I know all about it. I can prove it.
Dr. Charles Nichols: Ladies and gentlemen, my friend Richard doesn't feel well. So, if you will go on with your dessert and coffee, I'll be right back. Richard, would you care to...
Dr. Richard Kimble: You switched the samples! You switched the samples after Lenz died!

Delbert Grady: I feel you will have to deal with this matter in the harshest possible way, Mr. Torrance.
Jack Torrance: There's nothing I look forward to with greater pleasure, Mr. Grady.

Dave: I'm walking to my car, and this guy comes up to me. Asks for a light. I say I don't smoke. He says neither does he. So then my heart starts clocking a buck fifty, 'cause there's no one else here except me and him. So then he pulls the knife on me. Says, 'Your wallet or your life, bitch. I'm leaving with one of them'. So I try to brush past him, and that's when he slices me.
Celeste Boyle: I thought you said you swung at him.
Dave: Can I tell the fucking story?

Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

Kip: It's a time machine, Napoleon. We bought it online.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right.
Kip: It works, Napoleon. You don't even know.

We were talking of London, ma'am, and all its diversions.

Lucy

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