This is just like what the Greeks done at Troy. 'Cept they was in a horse instead o' dresses. Wooden 'orse.

Ragetti

Come to save little Ms. Muffet, have we? Well, you're too late. A spider came and sat down beside her and frightened Ms. Muffet away!

Chase Collins

Randy Daytona: You got me swatting flies now?
Master Wong: Not hit flies. You hit bees!

You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.

Napoleon Dynamite

Rusty: [to Linus] You look down, they know you're lying. Up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...
Livingston: Rus?
Rusty: Yeah?
Livingston: Come look at this?
Rusty: Sure. [leaves]

Hatsumomo: I was a maiko once.
Sayuri Nitta: Oh, of course. But that was a long, long, long, *long* time ago.

Neville Flynn: Hey, hey, we have to figure something out.
Rick: Alright, well I know what I've got to do. We're in a two-hundred foot aluminum tube and we're thirty thousand feet in the air, and any one of those slimy little pieces of shit can trip a circuit or a relay or a hydraulic and this bird goes down faster than a Thai hooker. So my job is to keep LAX informed on how totally screwed we are and then find some way to keep this mother in the sky another two hours. Figure that out.

Priest Vito Cornelius: Because it is evil, absolutely evil.
President Lindberg: One more reason to shoot first.
Priest Vito Cornelius: Evil begets evil, Mr. President. Shooting will only make it stronger.

Bailey: So, uh, who told you?
Tibby: Uh, told me what?
Bailey: You found out, didn't you?
Tibby: We still have time for one more interview...
Bailey: It's called leukemia... and yeah, I would like to come with you, but are you just asking because you feel sorry for me?
Tibby: I don't know... maybe.
Bailey: Okay.
Tibby: Okay.

Luvven Coddle: I sense a, a yearning in you. A, a searching, almost, as if you're lost. You've been lost for a long, long time. Am I right? You found Jesus, Al.
Al Fountain: Why? Is he missing?

It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.

George Downes

Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.

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