[his feet in a bucket] I gotta wash this vinegar off my feet. This is strong vinegar, it smells awful. This vinegar went bad!

Dante Slate, Jr.

Natalie Hegalhuzen: You know that all my writings have called this occupation a violation of international law and its practitioners are criminals?
Brand Hauser: Do you really believe all this stuff you write?
Natalie Hegalhuzen: Anyone who can causes this much mayhem when they didn't have to? The amount of suffering that I've seen?
Brand Hauser: I know.
[helicoper flies overhead]
Brand Hauser: [speaking on the phone] Ok. Hold on a sec.
[speaking to Natalie again]
Brand Hauser: But the way I look at it is this: the day we can actually feel and hear all the suffering of mankind, that's the day when "The Christ" will come back! So we got that going for us.
[speaking on the phone again]
Brand Hauser: I'll be out in a minute.
[speaking to Natalie again]
Brand Hauser: Or 'The Buddha', or Allah, whoever floats your boat.

I have to see her again.

Prince Charming

It's like finding a needle in a stack of needles.

Captain Miller

I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school.

Rufus T. Firefly

What was it he promised you, a share of the treasure! I will not part with a single piece!

Smaug

Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

The helmet I was wearing... Oh come on, that's funny. That's really funny, I mean I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn't putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can't quit... their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.

Sam

Gru: [to the girls] Did you brush your teeth?
[Takes a whiff]
Gru: You did *not*!

We can’t all be penguins.

Agent Classified

Hunter: Chief of the Boat.
Chief of the Boat: Sir?
Hunter: Thank you, COB.
Chief of the Boat: Thank you? Fuck you! Get it straight, Mr. Hunter, I'm not on your side. Now you could be wrong! But wrong or right, the Captain can't just replace you at will. That was completely improper. And that's why I did what I did. By the book.
Hunter: I thank you anyway.

Motormouth Maybelle: Tidley papa, I am a whopper... Motormouth Maybelle's my name and sweetheart, dancin' is my game.
[Applause]
Motormouth Maybelle: Motormouth, Motormouth, Motormouth!

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