Bartleby Gaines: Hey Shrad, do you know any places up near Harmon we can rent?
Sherman Schrader: Oh, yeah I do, actually. I carry around a list with me at all times of abandoned buildings for fake colleges.

[to Malcolm as they see the apes] That's a hell of lot more than eighty!

Dreyfus

Professor: Mr. Cobb has a job offer. He would like to discuss it with you.
Ariadne: What? Kind of Work Placement?
Cobb: Not exactly!

So God is picking on you?

Grace

Steve Montgomery: Telekinesis: The ability to move, lift, vibrate, spin, bend, break or impact objects through the direct influence of mental power or other non-physical means.
Andrew Detmer: Sound familiar?
Matt Garetty: Does sound familiar. You want to see direct influence? Andrew...

Constance: Now what do we do?
President Thomas Whitmore: Address the nation. There's gonna be a lot of frightened people out there.
Constance: Yeah. I'm one of 'em.

You wouldn't mind if I have some of your three thousand dollar-a-glass shit there, would you?

Alonzo Harris

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Cookie?
Col. Denton Walters: No, thank you, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Young lady?
Michelle Rodham Huddleston: No, thank you, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: No, I was just offering him a young lady.

Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those where nightmares!

Jacob: This is scientifically possible!
Nick: Tell us how it's scientifically possible, Professor Hawking.
Jacob: I will, 'cause I write Stargate fan fiction; this is my bread and butter, man!
Nick: Oh my God, I seriously almost passed out you're such a dork.

Aragorn: We have time. Every day Frodo moves closer to Mordor.
Gandalf: Do we know that?
Aragorn: What does your heart tell you?
Gandalf: That Frodo is alive. Yes. Yes, he's alive.

Stephanie: Greg and I are having sex problems.
B. Rabbit: Please, you're not gonna talk to me about that.
Stephanie: Greg won't go down on me.
B. Rabbit: Fuck, mom.

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