Yo, that shit must be good, B. My boy hasn't coughed like that since back in the day yo!


Captain America: It's grass.
George Hanson: [Seeing his first marijuana cigarette] Lord have mercy! Is that what that is?

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing - Teddy Roosevelt.

Bill Burke

Count Dooku: Your swords, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You won't get away this time, Dooku.
Count Dooku: I've been looking forward to this.
Anakin Skywalker: My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
Count Dooku: Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.

Come on! Toilets are always funny!

The Octopus

Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.


Mason: [after being punched in the nuts] Why?
Tipper: You know why!

[to quarterback Mike Winchell] You're playing like the village idiot! You want people to think of you as the village idiot?

Coach Gary Gaines

Bryan: I have a daughter who wants to be a singer. I was wondering if you have any tips for her.
Diva: Yeah, I do. Tell her pick another career.

[to concerned teachers] Alright, there appears to be an event happening. Central Park was just hit by what seems to be a terrorist attack. They're not clear on the scale yet. It's some kind of airborne chemical toxin that's been released in and around the park. They said to watch for warning signs. The first stage is confused speech. The second stage is physical disorientation, loss of direction. The third stage...is fatal.


Kat Stratford: We're going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, NO ritual animal slaughters of any kind... oh God, I'm giving them ideas.

Shelly: Why does she keep making those horrible noises?
Ash: I don't know!
Shelly: Look at her eyes. Look at her eyes! For God's sake, what happened to her eyes?

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