John McClane: You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan.
Joseph Takagi: Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer.
Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they've activated the energy shield.
Han Solo: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
Chewbacca: [laughs]
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

I got news for you, Dupree. You're not that loveable.

Carl Peterson

I rode the bench for two years. Thought I wasn't being played because of my color, I got filled up with a lotta attitude. So I quit. Still not a week goes by I don't regret it. And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret walking out, letting them get the best of ya. You hear me clear enough?

Fortune

[to Wayne] There is no right girl for you! And if you've already met her, she's probably either killed herself, or become a lesbian.

Judith

I've just been informed that all your children are missing.

Rosalie Mullins

Commander Lock: If it were up to me, Captain, you wouldn't set foot on a ship for the rest of your life.
Morpheus: Then I am grateful that it is not up to you.

Steve: Did your goblin come back?
Michael: Shut up.
Greg: Well, did he?
Elliot: Yeah, he came back. But he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.
Tyler: Ooh! An Extra-Terrestrial! Where's he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?
Greg: He doesn't get it Ty.
Tyler: Get it? Your anus?
Greg: He doesn't get it.

Cynthia-Rose: How are we going to compete with them?
Chloe: I'm not supposed to have any ideas. I'm the hot one.
Fat Amy: Um, I'm pretty sure I'm the hot one.

Corrine Whitman: I have no information on your husband.
Isabella Fields El-Ibrahimi: You know where he is.

King Jaffe Joffer: Time does fly fast, my son. It seems only yesterday I ordered your first diaper changed. Now you're a man about to be married. She will give you much pleasure, don't you think?
Prince Akeem: I'm not sure if I'm ready.
King Jaffe Joffer: Son, I know we never talked about this. I always assumed you had sex with your bathers. I know I do.

Pogue Parry: What is it?
Caleb Danvers: It's Kate, Chase put a spell on her... creation... spiders.

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