We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time.

Carl Burnett

Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?

Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...

You have his heart, now I'm going to break it.

Blackheart

Reese Feldman: [Kitty kisses Reese] Mmm... why'd I'd get so lucky?
Kitty: I dunno... I just love when you talk so tough...
Reese Feldman: Of course you do baby, that's why you're my girlfriend on the side.

Somebody in this camp ain't what he appears to be. Right now that may be one or two of us. By spring, it could be all of us.

MacReady

"If you're asking me if we have dangerous persons on board this train, I can assure you the answer is no."

Colonel Nelec

Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

Harry Doyle

It's Air Force One for crying out loud and still he gets sick!

Julius Levinson

Six weeks ago I was ordinary and pathetic, just like you. Who am I now? Account manager? Assassin? Just another tool who was mind fucked into killing his father. I am all of these. I am none of these. Who am I now? This is not me fulfilling my destiny. This not me following in my fathers footsteps. This is definitely not me saving the world.

Wesley

Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.

Conklin: Where's your field box?
Nicolette: That's this window right here...
Conklin: Where's your field box?
Nicolette: It's right there. The system's gone haywire... Dining room window?
[the power shuts down, the lights go off]
Nicolette: It's Bourne, isn't it?

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