Homer Simpson: Okay, son. You have only one chance to throw that bomb through the hole.
Bart Simpson: Dad, in case I don't make it, I'm sorry I said I wish you weren't my dad.
Homer Simpson: I don't blame you, son. I've never been that good of a father. Maybe it all starts with the way my father raised me. Yes, it's all clear to me. It's all just been one long, unbroken chain of...
Marge Simpson: Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
Dwayne, you've gotta learn to kick ass if you wanna be a peacemaker.Sheriff
Billy Hoyle: You are so stupid. It would take your mother 1, no, 2 hours to watch 60 MINUTES.
Sidney Deane: Don't start that shit again.
Louise: Remember when we first met?
Louise: What happened? Tell me what you said.
Jimmy: I said you had a nice pair of eyes.
Louise: And what did I say? You remember?
Jimmy: Yeah, you shut 'em. Asked me if I knew what color they were?
Louise: And what's you say?
Jimmy: I didn't know.
Louise: Jimmy, what color are my eyes?
Jimmy: They're brown.
Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you werfe a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.
Phil Wenneck: Stu, we don't have time for this. Look, let's go hook up with Doug, and we'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!
Phil Wenneck: It's not our baby.
Alan Garner: Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.
Next time, Indiana Jones, it will take more than children to save you.Belloq
Quit smiling, you're suppose to be professional.Rocket Raccoon
Keys: Elliot thinks his thoughts?
Michael: No... Elliot... Elliot feels his feelings.
Evian is naive spelled backward.Vickie
Rocky: Hey, yo, Mike, whose lock is this? Whose stuff is this in my locker?
Mike: It's Dipper's stuff. It ain't your locker no more.
Rocky: Whatta ya talkin' about it ain't my locker no more? It's been my locker for six years. Where's my gear?
Mike: Mickey told me to bag it. Hang it.
Rocky: You put my stuff on skid row? I been in that locker six years; you put my stuff in a bag on skid row?
Mike: Mickey tells me what to do. I gotta do it, right, Rock?
Rocky: Where is he?
Mike: Working with Dipper. He's in a baaad mood.
Rocky: So am I.
Yvaine: [in the pirate ship] Tell me about Victoria.
Tristan: Well, she... she... There's nothing else to tell you.
Yvaine: The little I know about love is that it's unconditional. It's not something you can buy.
Tristan: Hang on! This wasn't about me trying to buy her love. This was to prove to her how I felt.
Yvaine: Ah... And what's she doing to prove how she feels about you?
Tristan: Well... Look, Yvaine, you'll understand when you meet her, all right? If we don't get murdered by pirates first.
Yvaine: Mmm... Murdered by pirates, heart torn out and eaten, meet Victoria... I can't quite decide which sounds more fun...