Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.

Hey Boys, Is that anyway to treat a lady?


Skylar: What if I said I wouldn't have sex with you again till I got to meet your friends, what would you say?
Will: I'd say it's four-thirty in the morning, they're probably up.

Adrian: Is this you?
Rocky: Yeah, that's me when I was eight years old, that's the Italian Stallion when he was a baby.

Hi, hi, hi there! At last we meet. Our brief govoreet through the letter-hole was not, shall we say, satisfactory, yes?


Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Roger Dorn: Shit, Harris.
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

He's so little!


Jessica (in Clive's body): [disguised as Taquito; as Carol tries to kiss him] Carol, please! This would be wrong for me in at least five different ways!
Carol Spencer: [pulling away] You mean... you like men?
Jessica (in Clive's body): Of course! What did you think?

Tom Witzky: I never wanted to be famous. I just never expected to be so...
Maggie Witzky: What?
Tom Witzky: I don't know, ordinary.

Hallo Nicholas! Welcome to the president's car!


I only act like I know everything.

Natasha Romanoff

Terry: You know, I seen you a lot of times before. Remember parochial school out on Paluski Street? Seven, eight years ago. Your hair, you had your hair uh...
Edie: Braids.
Terry: Looked like a hunk of rope. And you had wires on your teeth and glasses and everything. You was really a mess.

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