Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.

Do, do you have to keep bringing that up, huh? Ok, so it was a good thing we did a test because it wasn't going to be just a quick snap. Would've broken my neck, or leg or my back. Would've bled to death on the beach, but it's in the past. It was what, a year ago? SO let's just forget it.

Chuck Noland

Scott Smith: Are you on uppers or something?
Harvey Milk: No, this is just plain old me.

Logan: There's someone here.
Cyclops: Where?
Logan: I don't know. Keep your eye open.

Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer: The secret?
Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.

Diane: Did you have fun tonight honey?
Mini: What? My first night turning tricks? Could have been better.
Diane: That's nice.

Jonathan: Pull me up. Pull me up.
[he sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
Jonathan: Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down.
Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot.
Jonathan: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Ted: [narrating] From that point on, the guys looked at me in a completely different light.
High School Pal: You're a fuckin' liar!

Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start.
William Miller: I'm glad you were home.
Lester Bangs: I'm always home. I'm uncool.
William Miller: Me too!

Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail.

Jim Kurring

[narrating] Being suspended is like getting a paid vacation. Why do they think it's a punishment? It's like your dog pees on the carpet and you give him a treat. Then you get in trouble for skipping school, it's sooo stupid! Hendricks told me, "One more time" and I'd be expelled. Sounded good to me.

Tammy Metzler

J.M. Barrie: What did you think?
Peter Llewelyn Davies: It's about our summer together, isn't it?
J.M. Barrie: It is.
Peter Llewelyn Davies: About all of us.
J.M. Barrie: That's right. You like it?
Peter Llewelyn Davies: It's magical. Thank you.
J.M. Barrie: No, thank you. Thank you, Peter.

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