Chaucer: We regret to inform your lady that my lord will not be attending...
William: Herald, do not answer questions you do not know the answer to!
Chaucer: Absolutely, my lord.

Lynn Sear: Cole, you're scaring me.
Cole Sear: They scare me too sometimes.
Lynn Sear: They?
Cole Sear: Dead people.

David Mills: Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people.
John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets!

You know, Dr. Evil, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see you're nuts.

Austin Powers

Queen Elizabeth: [Using the name "Mrs. Johnson"] My husband's work involves a great deal of public speaking.
Lionel Logue: Then he should change jobs.
Queen Elizabeth: He can't.
Lionel Logue: What is he, an indentured servant?
Queen Elizabeth: Something like that.

Kee: What the f-ck you staring at?
Theodore Faron: Apparently, the pleasure is all mine.

[briefing the reporters] The Pope - the Holy Father himself - has this very day blessed Michael Corleone; and you think you know better than the Pope?

Dominic Abbandando

Palm Apodaca: You know, I read where they, uh, invented this car that runs on, ummm... that runs on, ummm... when you boil water?
Terry: Steam.
Palm Apodaca: Right, steam. A car that you could ride around in and not cause a stink. But do you know they will not even let us have it? Can you believe it? Why? Man! He likes to create a stink! I mean, I've seen filth that you wouldn't believe. Ugh! What a stink! I don't even want to talk about it.

Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!


Scott Smith: Are you on uppers or something?
Harvey Milk: No, this is just plain old me.

Sue: I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn't notice. It's like some deep-seeded childhood thing.
Willie: So is my thing for tits.

What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and insuffering...


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