You haven't got lost in the woods, have you? You still remember what team you're playing for?

Col. Quaritch

Jack: This is insane, man, you've got to call him!
Jill: Oh will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister.

Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

Tyler Durden

John, I have a cassarole in the oven and your sister in the kitchen, and I don't want to talk about the tour.

Vivian Cash

Mulligan: All right, Charlie; that the joint?
Toothpick Charlie: Yes, sir.
Mulligan: Who runs it?
Toothpick Charlie: I already told you.
Mulligan: Refresh my memory.
Toothpick Charlie: Spats Columbo.
Mulligan: That's very refreshing; what's the password?
Toothpick Charlie: "I've come to Grandma's funeral." Here's your admission card.
[he gives Mulligan a mourning armband]
Mulligan: Thanks, Charlie.
Toothpick Charlie: Now if you want a ringside table, just tell 'em that you're one of the pallbearers.
Mulligan: OK, Charlie.

Creedy: Why should I trust you?
V: Because it's the only way you're ever going to stop me!

So... you guys wanna make out or what?

Doug Butabi

I gotta wonder what a bastard I have been. That nobody was there to claim me. I mean I am not the most charming guy on the world so I've been told... but... nobody?

Hancock

Mr. Salt: Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?
Willy Wonka: They're not for sale.
Mr. Salt: Name your price.
Willy Wonka: She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: Who says I can't?
Mr. Salt: The man with the funny hat.

Jeff Bebe: I can't say anymore with the writer here.
Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want.
Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the one guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off. THAT you can print!

I feel good today, Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, and we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, and fuck this bitch, I'll fuck ANYTHING THAT MOVES! What the fuck you lookin at, I'll kick yo fuckin ass! Shit yeah. Doesn't that fucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin tonight, we're gonna rip off that fucker's head, and take out his fuckin' SOUL. Hey, what's up baby, what's up, sluts?

Jay

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