I love you... I have a condom.

Matt

I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over nothing.

Chuck Noland

Jim Gordon: The Narrows is tearing itself to pieces.
Batman: This is just the beginning. If they hit the whole city with toxins, there's nothing to stop Gotham from tearing itself apart through mass panic.
Jim Gordon: How are they gonna do that?
Batman: They'll be using the train. The monorail follows the water mains along Gotham's central hub beneath Wayne Tower. If they get their machine into the station, it'll cause a chain reaction that'll vaporize the city's entire water supply.
Jim Gordon: Covering Gotham in this poison.
Batman: I'm gonna stop them from loading that train, but I may need your help.
Jim Gordon: What do you need?
Batman: [holds up the Batmobile remote] Can you drive stick

[reading from a review] This album begs the question "What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't head have rested on that day too?"

Marty DiBergi

Lara: How far can bullets go?
Daniel: They go pretty far except sometimes they get stuck in something and they stop.
Lara: What if they don't?
Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?

Daniel: And I'm afraid there's something really wrong, you know. I mean, clearly it's about his mum, but Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know.
Karen: At the age of eleven?
Daniel: Maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.

Shaun: [hands Liz flowers] Got you these.
Liz: [Liz reads label] "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...
Liz: [long pause] They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.

Trudeau: What the hell is that supposed to mean? I know we're all dummies up here, McClane, but give us a little taste of your brilliant genius! What are we talking about, a hijacking -
John McClane: I don't know -
Carmine Lorenzo: Oh, he's not sure! Well, I'm stunned! I gotta lie down!
John McClane: The only people who go through this much trouble are professionals, not luggage thieves and not punks!

Lex Luthor: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.
Lois Lane: You're insane.
Lex Luthor: No! No, not that the other thing. Come on, I know it's on the tip of your tongue.
Lois Lane: Superman will never...
Lex Luthor: WRONG!

Eddie: Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.

You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.

Andrew Largeman

The Furious Five! You look a lot bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Po

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