We have a great life here in Alaska, and we're never going back to America again!

Homer Simpson

[narrating] I wished that I'd gone down instead of Spud. Here I was surrounded by my family and my so-called mates and I've never felt so alone. Never in all my puff. Since I was on remand, they've had me on this program, this state sponsored addiction. Three sickly sweet doses of methadone a day instead of smack. But it's never enough. And at the moment it's nowhere near enough. I took all three this morning and now I've got eighteen hours to go until my next shot. I've got sweat on my back like a layer of frost. I need to visit the Mother Superior for one hit. One final hit to get us over this long, hard day.

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

Jill: Are you going bald?
Jack: Huh?
Jill: No no no, you're getting fatter, and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more face.
Jack: Okay.

You're always complaining, except when we make love. Then you say nothing.

Lai

George: I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. George Banks is saying NO!
Stock Boy: Who's George Banks?
George: ME!

Chase Collins: Ok, I'll admit, I'm a little impressed, not bad!
Caleb Danvers: Thanks!

Colonel Sandurz: They must have hyperjets on that thing.
Dark Helmet: And what do we have on this thing? A cuisinart?

Stuart Ullman: When the place was built in 1907, there was very little interest in winter sports. And this site was chosen for its seclusion and scenic beauty.
Jack Torrance: Well, it's certainly got plenty of that, ha, ha.
Stuart Ullman: ...The winters can be fantastically cruel. And the basic idea is to cope with the very costly damage and depreciation which can occur. And this consists mainly of running the boiler, heating different parts of the hotel on a daily, rotating basis, repair damage as it occurs, and doing repairs so that the elements can't get a foothold.
Jack Torrance: Well, that sounds fine to me.
Stuart Ullman: Physically, it's not a very demanding job. The only thing that can get a bit trying up here during the winter is, uh, a tremendous sense of isolation.
Jack Torrance: Well, that just happens to be exactly what I'm looking for. I'm outlining a new writing project and, uh, five months of peace is just what I want.
Stuart Ullman: That's very good Jack, because, uh, for some people, solitude and isolation can, of itself become a problem.
Jack Torrance: Not for me.
Stuart Ullman: How about your wife and son? How do you think they'll take to it?
Jack Torrance: They'll love it.

Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
Dr. Evil: How about, no, Scott? Okay?

Marion: What do you want?
Toht: Ah, the same thing your friend Dr. Jones wanted? Surely he mentioned there would be other interested parties.
Marion: Must have slipped his mind.

Coraline Jones: Back home, cats don't talk. So how are you able to...
Cat: I just can.

Dr. Allan Pearl: I feel a bree... a... you're blowing in my ear.
Corky St. Clair: Okay, all right, but you see you jumped... to a conclusion!
Dr. Pearl: Oh!
Corky St. Clair: See, what I'm asking for is... your first feeling... was not that I was blowing on you. It was more like... Virgin Isles, or... Bahamanian...
Dr. Pearl: Oh...
Corky St. Clair: Or... Arubian...

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