Karen Holmes: I never knew it could be like this! Nobody ever kissed me the way you do.
Sergeant Milton Warden: Nobody?
Karen Holmes: No, nobody.
Sergeant Milton Warden: Not even one? Out of all the men you've been kissed by?
Karen Holmes: [giggling] Now that'd take some figuring. How many men do you think there've been?
Sergeant Milton Warden: I wouldn't know. Can't you give me a rough estimate?
Karen Holmes: Not without an adding machine. Do you have the adding machine with you?
Sergeant Milton Warden: I forgot to bring it.

I look quite pretty.


You guys playing cards?


There's no such thing as nothing.

Bernard Jaffe

You're lucky. With Fraulein Helga, it was a snake!

Frau Schmidt

You tell me something. Is he the Rosetta Stone? He's gonna blow the lid off the last 60 years?

Richard Messner

Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.

John McClane

Jack Swigert: Uplink completed. We got her back up, Ken. Boy, I wish you were here to see it.
Ken Mattingly: I'll bet you do.

I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs. *Chili's* Baby back ribs.

Fat Bastard

Neville, you're supposed to stroke it!


Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.

Joel Cairo: I certainly wish you would have invented a more reasonable story. I felt distinctly like an idiot repeating it.
Sam Spade: Don't worry about the story's goofiness. A sensible one would have had us all in the cooler.

FREE Movie Newsletter