White House General: My God! Is he saying what I think he's saying?
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: If we're going to act, we have to act now.
Defense Secretary Walter Dean: It's too risky.
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: The president is up there with a gun to his head.
General Northwood: He asking us to do that to Air Force One?
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: He's not asking. Your Commander-in-Chief has issued a direct order. Do it!

My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.

Borat

Johnny O: What you gotta do is think real hard and come up with someone who can't be traced to either one of us who can pay a visit to that guy she was with.
Gary: No, I don't want anything to happen to him.
Johnny O: Right... [winks] I understand.

"You" won my bet? You presumptuous insect, "I" won it.

Professor Henry Higgins

Johnny Hooker: Can you get a mob together?
Henry Gondorff: After what happened to Luther, I don't think I can get more than two, three hundred guys.

Wolverine: How long have you been here?
Bobby: Couple of years, it's not so bad.
Wolverine: What about your parents, they just shipped you off to mutant school?
Bobby: Actually, my parents think this is a prep school.
Wolverine: Well, I guess lots of prep schools have their own campus, dorms, kitchens...
Bobby: Jets?

Ethel Twitty: Will you help an old lady to her car?
Lucien Wilbanks: You don't need any help, Ethel. But I'd be honored to escort you to your automobile.

Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.

Tyler Durden: You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Narrator: So you can breathe.
Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Alvin: Last one to the door is road kill!
[runs to the door]
Simon: I'm in!
[runs to the door]
Theodore: [distracted by a Christmas ornament] Uhm... what is this shiny thing?
Simon: [goes back to Theodore] Theodore, we're leaving now.
Theodore: Oh.

Elle: I'm reading about the LSAT's
Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your...

You've got a bloody cheek!

M

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