Middle Jamal: [seeing the Taj Mahal] Is this heaven?
Middle Salim: You're not dead Jamal.
Middle Jamal: What is it? Some hotel?

Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us.
Pete: You didn't know that at the time.
Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know.
Pete: That don't make no sense!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
Penny Wharvey McGill

The gods need US! They need our prayers! What do WE need the gods for?
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Andromeda

Doug Butabi: Idiot.
Craig: You know Doug, just because you and your brother are having problems, that's no reason to refer to my intellectual capacity in a diminutive manner.

Rob Hawkins: I keep thinking that the last thing I said to her was, "Good luck tonight, Travis."
Lily Ford: I know. I keep thinking about the last thing I said to Jason.
Rob Hawkins: That was different.
Lily Ford: Why?
Rob Hawkins: Because... Jason knew that you loved him.

Capt. Dickson: I got a big ass raise to babysit you two again.
Jenko: We're going back to high school?
Capt. Dickson: No, you look like you about 50. You going to MC State. You two sons of bitches are going to college!

It's not who you love, it's how.

Holden

Christopher Gardner: How many planets are there?
Christopher: Um... 7?
Christopher Gardner: Seven? Nine! Okay, who's the king of the jungle?
Christopher: The gorilla?
Christopher Gardner: Gorilla? Nope. Lion.
Christopher: Yeah, lion, lion. You wanna hear something funny?

Reese Feldman: You know a lot about golf.
Huggy Bear: I know even more about grass.

That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.

Cher

It took me nearly a year to get here. It wasn't so hard to cross that street after all, it all depends on who's waiting for you on the other side.

Elizabeth

Saul Silver: Look, only reason I started selling pot is so I could put my bubbie in a nice retirement home.
Dale Denton: Oh, yeah, she must be proud of you for that.
Saul Silver: She is really proud of me, and I'm gonna become something, man! As soon as she dies, I'm gonna become a civil engineer. I'm gonna design septic tanks for playgrounds. Little kids can take shits! You idiot, what the hell do you do?

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