Reporter: Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life?
Ben: I say the Red Sox... sex... and breathing!

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I don't hit no man first.
Crash Davis: All right, then...
[throws him a baseball]
Crash Davis: ... hit me in the chest with that.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I'd kill you!
Crash Davis: Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat.

Look at my face; I was not thinking anything bad about you.

Lynn Sear

The Dude: You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped and you were fuckin' glad, man. You could use it as an excuse to make some money disappear. You'd just met me... You human paraquat! You figured 'Oh, here's a loser. A deadbeat, someone the square community won't give a shit about.
The Big Lebowski: Well, aren't you?
The Dude: Well... yeah.

Try to be a little less than your frivolous self, 007.


Agent 99: Not bad for a rookie.
Maxwell Smart: Not bad for an old lady.

I kneel before you not as a prince, but as a man in love... But I would feel like a king if you, Danielle De Barbarac, would be my wife.


In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid? Hell no. And I was in my prime. I could've been knee-deep in shepherd's daughters, not to mention fine-ass Mary Magdalene. She had a thing for dark meat, if you follow me.


Hey! This is not your toy to play with every time I turn around!

Ronnie Neary

Stewardess: What did you do to him?
Holly McClane: I knocked two of his teeth out.
Stewardess: Would you like some champagne?

Honey, this is nasty business.

Corrine Whitman

A cappella with sock puppets? Genius!

Fat Amy

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