You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.

Craig Schwartz

Greg Focker: Hey whats the good word grandpa Jack?
Jack Byrnes: This is Jack Byrnes
Greg Focker: Yeah I know, I can tell from the caller ID.

Larry: So Anna tell me your bloke wrote a book. Any good?
Alice: Of course.
Larry: It's about you isn't it?
Alice: Some of me.
Larry: Oh? What did he leave out?
Alice: The truth.

Wanda: What are you thinking, Archie?
Archie: I'm just trying to think of one good reason why I should take you to South America with me.
Wanda: How about... because I have the key to the safety deposit box?
[pause]
Archie: That's a...
Wanda, Archie: ...good reason.

I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.

Mike Lowrey

Is that all you people think about? Getting fucked up?

Taj

I should've never gotten on that plane. I should've never gotten out of the car.

Chuck Noland

You shoulda kissed her Dave. She wanted you.

Alvin

Kate Veatch: I'm not a banker, I'm a lawyer.
Peter La Fleur: Really? What kind of law are you involved in, pretty eyes?
Kate Veatch: Sexual harassment, mostly.

Ray Kinsella: [being rushed out of Mann's loft] You've changed - you know that?
Terence Mann: Yes - I suppose I have! How about this: "Peace, love, *dope*"? Now get the *hell* out of here!

Crash Davis: It's time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time."
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Got to play... it's pretty boring.
Crash Davis: 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down.

Stanley Cunningham: No, uh, that, mm-mm, that's not correct. Uh, where'd you hear that?
Cole Sear: They'd pull the people in, crying and kissing their families 'bye. People watching would spit at them.
Stanley Cunningham: Uh, Cole, this, this building was a legal courthouse. Laws were passed here. Some of the very first laws of this country. This whole building was full of, uh, lawyers, uh, lawmakers.
Cole Sear: They were the ones that hanged everybody.

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