Well, uh, with a binding like you've got, people are going to want to know what's in the book.

Jerry Mulligan

[to Holmes as he guzzles a liquid] You do know what your are drinking is meant for eye surgery?

Dr. John Watson

Maj. Warden: [lowering binoculars] Kill him... Kill him!
Major Shears: [screaming] KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

Customer: [reading the tabloids] I saw one, one time, that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy shit.
Randal Graves: So I'm no more responsible for my own decisions while I'm here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?
Dante Hicks: That's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.
Randal Graves: Not yet.

King Arthur: One, two, five!
Sir Galahad: Three sir!
King Arthur: Three!

Laura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.
Rob: No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later.
Laura: Right. It'll have to be sex, then.
Rob: Right. Right.

[teaching his marine studies class]
Mr. Ryan: So to answer your question, Pacific swells are usually a lot bigger than Atlantic swells. But remember: Kelly Slater is from Florida.

T.S. Quint: [to Jay and Silent Bob] You two up for getting stoned?
Jay: Look who you're asking!

The fatties were the first to go.


Milly: You and my mom have been totally scheming. And and and and now I know exactly why she pushed me on you because she was voting for you. She found you.
Jason: Yeah but that doesn't take anything away from us. What matters is that we did meet, and how good this is between us. And the truth of that...
Milly: The truth. Where is the truth? Where is the truth, because you've been living a lie and I've been lying to you Jason.
Jason: Yeah but that doesn't change anything.

Torrance Shipman: Thank God you're here this season Missy. I couldn't have done it alone.
Missy: Aww, tear.

Zoey Sandin: Why didn't he just cut off his penis?
Mary Sandin: We are having dinner! No penises!

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