George Hanson: What's "dude"? Is that like "dude ranch"?
Captain America: Dude means nice guy. Dude means a regular sort of person.

[a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.

Columbus

Francis: This his blood?
Det. Ellie Burr: Ketchup maybe. Was he eating a hot dog?

Schmidt: We'll go around to classes and activities, ask about the drug, find out who the dealer is.
Jenko: Do we look older or does everyone in college look like babies?

[as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!

Dale Doback

You asked me once how I was gonna save your life. This is it. This moment.

Louanne

Deborah Clasky: [upon hearing John's car pull into the driveway] Do I need to put on make-up?
Evelyn Norwich: You need a hose, but we don't have that kinda time.

Wife Beater: Who in the hell are you?
Bud White: The ghost of Christmas past. Why don't you dance with a man for a change?
Wife Beater: What are you, some kind of smart ass?

And look at that kitchen. You're finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.

Charles

[Thornhill is wearing sunglasses to hide his identity]
Ticket Seller: Something wrong with your eyes?
Roger Thornhill: Yes, they're sensitive to questions.

Costa: We'll have a whole day to fix this place up like new.
Thomas: What about this? (points to the camera) What if my parents see it?
Costa: Nobody's going to see this but us, I promise.
Jimmy Kimmel (on his show): So you know, this high school party in Pasadena -- have you seen the footage?

Megamind: You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi, I'm afraid no one can hear you!... Uh, why isn't she screaming?
Minion: Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind...

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