Adam: "Were you just yellin' at your nine-year-old wife?"
Nick: "...Yes."

Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."

Lou: "Hey, man, can I ask you a question? Does this seem like it's all about Adam again?"
Nick: "Yeah--just like Cincinnati."
Adam: "You're gonna bring that up?"
Lou: "We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
Jacob: "Is this why you have that shoebox in your closet that says 'Cincinnati'?"
Adam: "Yeah."
Lou: "What?! That's f***in' admissible!"
Nick: "You keep it in the closet?!"
Adam: "What am I gonna f***in' do with it? You can't bury those things."
Nick: "You wrote 'Cincinnati' on it?!"
Adam: "How do I know which one it's supposed to be?!"
Jacob: " ... Is it a fetus?"

Adam [commenting on young Nick's haircut]: "You look like Kid 'n Play."
Nick: "That's actually two people."

"That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever."

Adam: "If you don't like it, you can move back in with your mom."
Jacob: "No, I can't. Actually, she moved in her new boyfriend. I will not be anywhere near that."
Adam: "She moved in with him?"
Jacob: "Yeah, the taxidermist. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother."

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