Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis: Madrid.
Woody Stevens: Spain?

Bobby Davis: I think we better get out of here.
Woody Stevens: No, we'll get out of here at sundown after we've had our beverage.

Dudley Frank: Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.
Woody Stevens: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!
Dudley Frank: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.
Woody Stevens: I felt you smell my neck!
Bobby Davis: Did you smell that man's neck?
Dudley Frank: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.
Bobby Davis: A lawyer cowboy?

Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids!

Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole.

Charley: Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby Davis: You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley: Yeah.

Dudley Frank: [upon seeing Maggie] She's perfect for me. I wanted to say something funny, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby Davis: Do tell... which ones? Why don't you tell the one that ends with me beating your ass?

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