What up with thee.

Bruce: What if I need you? What if I have questions?
God: That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.

Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Bruce: See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.

God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.

Bruce: So you're the janitor, electrician, the boss. Must be one hell of a Christmas party... don't get drunk though, one of you may need a ride home
[laughing]
God: [laughing] You've always had a sense of humor, Bruce, just like your father.

God: Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.
Bruce: Quit bragging.

Bruce: Where are you going?
God: I'm taking a vacation.
Bruce: God doesn't take vacations. Does he?... Do... ye?
God: Did you ever hear of the dark ages? Besides, I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes, if you want to. Right?

Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.

Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.

Grace: Debbie won the lottery.
Bruce: Oh, yeah? You're kidding.
Grace: But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.

Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.

Bruce: Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?
God: Great... If you wanna be Miss America.

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