What a place for an ending, huh? It's like that movie 'Goldeneye'!

Chip Douglas: Call it one guy doing another guy a solid.
Steven Kovacs: That is so nice!
Chip Douglas: Well you're a nice guy! You'd be surprised how many customers treat me like snot, like I'm a goddamn plumber or somethin'.

Chip Douglas: Here is a comment card. Please mail it in when I am done.
Steven Kovacs: Does this go to your boss?
Chip Douglas: No it goes to me, I'm sort of a perfectionis... perfectionis... t.

Wake up lil snoozy! Smell the smelling salts!

Come back here, so that I may brain thee!

Come on Stevie, time to leavey, It's the fun bus man!

I'll juice ya up.

Dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules!

Steven: I have this friend and he gave his cable guy $50 and then he got all the movie channels for free. You ever hear of anything like that?
Chip Douglas: [Walks slowly towards Steven] You mean illegal cable?
Steven: Um... Yeah.
Chip Douglas: Who told you that? What is his name? I want it.
Steven: Just forget it.
Chip Douglas: You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend six months in a correction facility!
Steven: No, please, that was dumb. I was just making conversation. Forget it.
Chip Douglas: [Bursts out laughing] I'm just jerking your chain! Ha ha ha. The look on your face! Ha ha, you are too easy!
Chip Douglas: Wake up, little snoozy. Smell the smelling salts? Ha ha ha. I'll juice ya up.

Chip Douglas: Wow, the old McNair place. Never thought they'd get the floors clean after what happened.
Steven Kovacs: Why? What happened?
Chip Douglas: They had a lot of cats.

This concludes our broadcast day. Click.

Steven: You know, my brother is a speech therapist.
Chip Douglas: Tho?

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Chip Douglas

Chip Douglas Picture

Ernie "Chip" Douglas is the cable guy in The Cable Guy.  Chip Douglas tries to befriend Steven Kovac, a man who he installs cable for.  However, the demented Chip ends up stalking this poor guy.  We didn't mean demented, we mean misunderstood.

Played By
Jim Carrey
Full Name
Chip Douglas