Columbus: Don't be afraid to use your ammunition, that lady should have, would have, could have, saved herself. Rule number 4: Double Tap.

Tallahassee: We got taken hostages by a twelve-year-old?
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys.

It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.

He sets the standard for "Not to be fucked with."

Someone's ear is in danger of getting hair brushed behind it...

Okay. You're about to learn who you're gonna call... Ghostbusters

Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: ...You wanna see how hard I can punch?

[a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.

[a zombie kills an obese man] Poor fat bastard.

[to Tallahasse] Are you some type of cock blocking robot developed in some secret fucking government lab?

I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.

The fatties were the first to go.

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Played By
Jesse Eisenberg
Full Name