Dale Denton Quotes
Couscous - the food so nice they named it twice.
Saul: Sick! You threw up in my printer!
Dale Denton: I did.
Saul: You break it?
Dale Denton: I hope not.
Mr. Edwards: Oh, yeah, Clark's a great guy. He'll take good care of Angie.
Dale Denton: You know what, why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
Mr. Edwards: Hey, I'm a teacher! You can't say that to me!
Dale Denton: Yeah? Well, I'm not a student here, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you cheap little bastard!
Dale Denton: Yeah, except if you're a dick your whole life, you're going to come back as shit. Or a slug or a fuckin' anal bead. But if you do something heroic, then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or fuckin' Jude Law. Now which would you rather be, an anal bead or a dragon?
Red: Mmm... probably the anal bead... depending on who it belongs to.
Dale Denton: It belongs to me.
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!
Saul Silver: What's up with the suit?
Dale Denton: Oh, I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
Saul Silver: Wow, you're a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I'm not like..
Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
Dale Denton: I'm a "process server!"
Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body?
Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.
Dale Denton: I'm gonna get us out of here!
Saul Silver: No. You're not. But it's okay.
Saul Silver: Look, only reason I started selling pot is so I could put my bubbie in a nice retirement home.
Dale Denton: Oh, yeah, she must be proud of you for that.
Saul Silver: She is really proud of me, and I'm gonna become something, man! As soon as she dies, I'm gonna become a civil engineer. I'm gonna design septic tanks for playgrounds. Little kids can take shits! You idiot, what the hell do you do?
Dale Denton: In case you haven't noticed, which you haven't, because from what I can tell, you don't notice anything ever, we are not very functional when we're high.
Saul: Well, I don't know, man. I think I'm functioning right now. I was, like, stoned when I saved you with those slushies. What do you say to that?
Dale Denton: Well, that would be true if you had saved me. But you didn't save me. She was gonna help us, but you made things worse. Now we're wanted for all sorts of crazy shit!
Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.
Saul: No... I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That's not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can't go back into the box, he only comes out.