What don't I understand, Cara? Please, help me out. What is it? Is it frustrating that you can't be with this person? That there's something keeping you apart? That there's something about this person that you can connect with? And whenever you're near this person, you don't know what to say, and you say everything that's in your mind and in your heart, and you know that if you could just be together, that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself?

Marie: You don't have to smile.
Dan Burns: It's better than the alternative.

Jane Burns: If you don't let me, I'll never learn.
Dan Burns: But if I let you, you might not live.

[about Mitch] It seems all his best lines were yours... this is unbearable.


There's rightness in our wrongness.

Put it on my tab.

I don't want to go out with the pig... face.

Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.

Dan Burns: [after the family sees him kissing Marie] You guys broke up, right?
Mitch Burns: Two hours ago!

Mitch Burns: I swear, the minute I saw her I felt like I was in the room with an angel.
Dan Burns: Yeah, well, this corn is an angel.

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Dan Burns

Dan Burns Picture

Dan Burns is a widower. He also pens an advice column called, aptly enough, Dan in Real Life and is the father of three girls, ages 9, 14, and 17. Just as Dan seems to be getting out of his malaise, he finds out that the woman he's crushing on is dating his brother. Ouch.

Played By
Steve Carell
Full Name
Dan Burns