I've been around this block twice now. Looking for something. A clue. I've been looking for clues and something led me back here. Yeah. So here I am. It could have been me, the one who was at Ringo's place when the shit went down. Hey. I know how it is. I've been there. We've all done bad things. We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart. I'm going to take your brain out of your head and wash it and scrub it and make it clean. I don't know. But I'm going to have to settle this. First we're going to check the hole and see what we can find. We're going to get nice and wet, and you're going to spread your legs. Oh, that's good. So you know me. You know my reputation. Thirteen inches of tough load, I don't treat you gently. That's right. I'm Brock Landers. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where the fuck is Ringo? I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right.

Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I come?
Amber Waves: Yeah. You just come when you're ready.
Dirk: Where should I come?
Amber Waves: Where do you want?
Dirk: Wherever you tell me.
Amber Waves: Come on my tits, if you can, okay? Just pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits, if you can.

I wanna fuck. It's my fucking big dick. Who wants to fuck?

Dirk: I can't. I just can't get it hard. I just can't. I'm sorry.
Surfer: You shouldn't do this sorta thing, faggot.

Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner: Those are some great names.

You're not the boss of me, Jack. You're not the king of Dirk. I'm the boss of me. I'm the king of me. I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when we roll.

Dirk: Jack, I was thinking about my name, y'know?
Jack Horner: Yeah?
Dirk: I was wondering if you had any ideas.
Jack Horner: I've got a few, but you tell me
Dirk: Well, my idea was, y'know, I want a name I want it so it can cut glass, y'know, razor sharp.
Jack Horner: Tell me.
Dirk: When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so powerful... It says, "Dirk Diggler."

Dirk: Aren't you gonna take your skates off?
Rollergirl: I never take my skates off.

[to the mirror's reflection of his 13-inch penis] I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star.... I am a big, bright, shining star. Yeah, that's right.

You know, I'm gonna be a great big bright, shining star.

What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.

Reed Rothchild: Hey, are those lizard?
Dirk: No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these.

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