I'm just a regular guy who did a wicked fucking awesome thing.

Donny: What the fuck is this?!
Spa worker: It's water infused with cucumber, rose petal and harvest sandalwood.
Donny: Tastes like fucking dick infused with balls.

Todd: You know, what I remember is ME having to drive YOU home from the beach that time, because you were too drunk!
Donny: Somebody else's dad would have had another guy drive home!
Todd: I was eight!
Donny: And you drove like a fucking champ too.

Donny: What'd I do to his back?
Todd: Let me jog your memory...
Donny: The New Kids on the Block! The heads are all warped!
Todd: That's because I got it in third grade, my body grew!

Todd: You were basically the worst parent ever!
Donny: I was awesome!
Todd: You let me eat cake and lollipops for breakfast every day!
Donny: That's what you asked for!
Todd: You're supposed to say no!

Jamie: Todd, your old man's here to see you!
Donny: WASSUP!

That's my boy!

FREE Movie Newsletter