Dr. Evil Quotes
Young Dr. Evil: Would it kill you to put on some clothes? Honestly it's like living with frickin Sasquatch.
Young Austin Powers: Hey, have you seen my Balzac?
Young Dr. Evil: I'm looking at your Balzac right now.
I don't know how to be no crib on MTV, God only knows, got my mini-me and the GP see how it goes. Evil's all that I see, you ask me my name? D to the rizzo, E to the vizzo, I to the lizzo. I'm a crazy motherfucker, y'all knew that. Austin caught me in the first act, it's all backwards, what's up with that? So I'll make a prophecy from the dogs to the mini-me. Gimme and Escalade, two way, bling-bling on eBay. DOMINO, motherfucker!
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H. [Scott snickers] What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Scott Evil: [to Dr. Evil] I hate you.
Scott Evil: [to Austin] I hate you.
Scott Evil: [to Foxxy] I don't even know you, but I hate you too.
Scott Evil: [to Mini-Me] And I ESPECIALLY hate you. [runs away]
Dr. Evil: I'd just like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, can you continue with your plan?
Dr. Evil: Of course, Number 2, our plan is SCOTTY DON'T.
Scott Evil: Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass.
Well, congratulations numb nuts... you've succeeded in turning me into a frickin' Jack in the box. Get it off! Get it off! It's dark, it's dark!
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, You look very toit. Yesh, toit like a toiger. Yesh Yesh Yesh.
Dr. Evil: You know, Goldmember? I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude. Yeah. A little creepy. Mmhmm.
I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you.
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toite, Austin Power's fahza.
Dr. Evil: His what?
Number 2: His fahza, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: His farger? What's a farger?
Goldmember: His fahza. You know, the fahza.
Dr. Evil: You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch. Okay, perv boy?
Goldmember: Fahza, his dad, dad is fahza.
Dr. Evil: Oh, his dad. His FA-THER.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen! [silence] No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub...
Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know.
Dr. Evil: How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard?