Richard: [as he rolls up the sheet that covered Grandpa and packs the bags in the trunk of the bus] You know, Olive, Grandpa would have been proud of you today.
Olive: Really?
Sheryl: You were great.
Frank: You were better than great.
Dwayne: You were incredible.

Frank: Good night Dwayne.
Dwayne: [scribbles on notepad] Don't kill yourself tonight.
Frank: Not on your watch Dwayne. I wouldn't do that to you.
Dwayne: [on notepad] Welcome to hell.
Frank: Thanks Dwayne. Coming from you that means a lot.

Frank: So who do you hang around with?
Dwayne: [shakes head]
Frank: No one?
Dwayne: [writes "I Hate Everyone"]
Frank: What about your family?
Dwayne: [underlines "Everyone"]

Grandpa: So are you gettin' any?
Dwayne: [shakes his head no]
Grandpa: Christ! What are you? 15? You gotta be gettin' that young stuff!

[after finding out he is color blind and can't fly jets] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap- high school and everything- just skip it.
Frank: You know Marcel Proust?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh- he gets down to the end of his life... and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered- Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school? Those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

Frank: Friedrich Nietzsche? You stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche?
Dwayne: [nods]
Frank: Far out.

You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest!

Life is one fuckin' beauty contest after another.

[written on piece of paper showing it to Frank] Welcome to hell.

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Dwayne

Dwayne Picture

Dwayne is Sherly's son from a previous marriage.  He is currently mute as he made a vow of silence until he achieves his dream of becoming a pilot.  Oh and he hates everyone, especially his family.  He's forced to go on the roadtrip to Little Miss Sunshine because he cannot be left alone.

Played By
Paul Dano
Full Name
Dwayne