Earl Bassett: They must be long gone by now.
Valentine McKee: Yeah. Hey, why don't you go take a little stroll and find out?

Valentine McKee: Good luck, shithead.
Earl Bassett: Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails!

Earl Bassett: Must be a million of them!
Valentine McKee: Nope, just one!

Earl Bassett: Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass!
Valentine McKee: I'm gonna help you.

Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse.
Earl Bassett: What the hell do you use it for?
Burt Gummer: My cannon!

Earl Bassett: Hey, Rhonda, you ever seen anything like this before?
Valentine McKee: Oh, sure, Earl. Everyone knows about them, we just didn't tell you.

Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?

Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixbe's already dead.

Earl Bassett: No way those things can outrun these horses!
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.

Valentine McKee: STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!
Earl Bassett: You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.
Valentine McKee: Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to 'pede?
Earl Bassett: I wish they'd stampede up your ass.

Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett: Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett: I thought you called it your pecker.

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