Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: Breast Reduction Surgery? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back-problems, man.

It's like a division sign.

Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.

Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.
Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.

I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.

I'm not too worried about it, really. I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Fogell: Well, when I got there it was either this or Muhammad.
Evan: Why would you even pick Muhammad.
Fogell: For your information, Muhammad is the most commonly used name on the planet.
Evan: Fogell, have you ever even met anyone named Muhammad?
Fogell: Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: NO! That's why it's a stupid, made-up, fucking fairy tale name!

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: You would too... if you were a man.

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.

Seth: [referring to Evan's mother] I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
Evan: Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick.
Seth: [shrugs] It's a nice lookin' dick.

Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn't have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.

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Evan

Brainy Evan

Evan is the level-headed, sarcastic best friend of Seth in Superbad. He's played by the lovable Michael Cera, of Arrested Development fame. Evan is also the brains behind any operation cooked up in this film.

Played By
Michael Cera
Full Name
Evan