Fats Portnoy Quotes

Jeff Portnoy: So, what's the plan, man? You gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?
Kirk Lazarus: No, no. Mandarin Chinese. What I can tell, it's what they're speaking down there.
Jeff Portnoy: How the hell do you know Chinese?
Kirk Lazarus: Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar. I prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.

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Added: September 16, 2008

[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.
Jeff Portnoy

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Added: September 04, 2008