Fred Haise Quotes
Fred Haise, Sr.: I know why my numbers were wrong. I only figured it for two people.
Jack Swigert: Maybe I should just hold my breath.
Jack Swigert: Now wait a minute... all I did was stir those tanks...
Fred Haise, Sr.: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert: Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks!
Fred Haise, Sr.: You didn't know what you were doing, do you?
Jim Lovell: Jack, quit kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert: Yeah, well, tell HIM that.
Jim Lovell: Freddo, how long does it take to power up the LEM?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Three hours by the checklist.
Jim Lovell: We don't have that much time.
Fred Haise: It hurts when I urinate.
Jim Lovell: Well, you're not getting enough water.
Fred Haise: No, I'm drinkin' my rations, same as you... I think old Swigert gave me the clap. Been pissin' in my relief tube.
Jim Lovell: Well, that'd be a hot one at the debriefing for the flight surgeons... Another first for America's spacemen.
Reporter: So... the number 13 doesn't bother you?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Only if it's a Friday, Phil.
Reporter: Apollo 13 - lifting off at 1300 hours and 13 minutes, and, entering the moon's gravity on April 13th.
Jim Lovell: Uh, Ken Mattingly has been doing some... scientific experiments regarding that very phenomenon, haven't you?
Ken Mattingly: Well, uh, yes, well I uh, had a black cat walk over a broken mirror under the lunar module ladder, didn't seem to be a problem.
Fred Haise, Sr.: We also consider a real helpful letter we got from a fellow who said we ought to take a pig up with us for good luck.
Jim Lovell: Uh, Houston, we are ready for the beginning of PTC, and I think once we're in that barbecue roll, Jack and I will eat.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey, I'm hungry.
Jim Lovell: Are you sure?
Fred Haise, Sr.: I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.
Jack Swigert: I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a re-entry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow, we're coming in too damn fast.
Jim Lovell: We're working on something, Jack, just hold on.
Jack Swigert: Listen, they gave us too much delta V, they had us burn too long. At this rate, we're going to skip right out of the atmosphere and we're never gonna get home.
Fred Haise, Sr.: What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Jack Swigert: I can add.
Jim Lovell: Jack, they've got half the Ph.D.'s on the planet working on it.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Houston says we're right on the money.
Jack Swigert: And what if they had made a mistake, all right? And there was no way to reverse it, you think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us!
Fred Haise, Sr.: What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
Jim Lovell: All right, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number 8. You're talking about number 692.
Jack Swigert: And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a Goddamn reentry plan.
Jim Lovell: That's duly noted, thank you Jack.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Mare Tranquilitatis - Neil and Buzz's old neighborhood. Coming up on Mount Marilyn. Jim, you've got to take a look at this.
Jim Lovell: I've seen it.
Jim Lovell: Just a little while longer Freddo. Just a little while longer, we're gonna hit that water in the South Pacific. Open up that hatch. It's 80 degrees out there.
Fred Haise, Sr.: 80 degrees.