George Simmons: Good news, Bonita. I went to the doctor today. He said I was doing better.
Bonita: That's good, Mr. Simmons. I found the pants you were looking for. They were in the closet.

Don't say chilling.

Don't cry, you're making a scene. Everyone will think I broke up with you.

Daniel Day-Lewis would have torn that scene apart.

Dr. Lars: Now do you trust my accent?
George Simmons: Yes I do.

George Simmons: I'm surprised nothing happened with you and that girl.
Ira Wright: She told me she had a boyfriend.
George Simmons: She told me the same thing, when she was sucking my cock.

George Simmons: So, which room is yours?
Ira Wright: Prepare to take a hike, because you're standing in it.

So I'm guessing your friend is the fat version of you.

Laura: No cussing in your standup.
George Simmons: That takes out half of my act.

Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever sleep with you?

George Simmons: So, Ira Wright? That's not your real name. You're hiding some Judaism.
Ira Wright: I don't think I can hide that. My face is circumcised.

Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: [surprised] Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.

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George Simmons

George Simmons Photo

George Simmons is the main character in Funny People. He's a comedian that learns he has a terminal disease. As a result, he re-evaluates his life and takes Seth Rogen's character under his wing.

Played By
Adam Sandler
Full Name
George Simmons