Gus Portokalos: [crying] Why you want to leave me?
Toula Portokalos: I'm not leaving you! Don't you want me to do something with my life?
Gus Portokalos: Yes! Get married, make babies! You look so... old!

[describing Ian] A xeno with big, long, hair on top of his head!

It is YOUR LUCKY DAY... to be baptized into the Greek Orthodox Church!

Maria Portokalos: What is wrong with Toula going to school downtown?
Gus Portokalos: Is drugs downtown!
Maria Portokalos: What are you saying? Are you saying Toula will get involved with drugs?
Gus Portokalos: No. But somebody will say to her: take this bag down to the bus depot, and she'll do it!
Maria Portokalos: She is not stupid! She's smart!
Gus Portokalos: I know she's smart. So what for she needs more school? She's smart enough for a girl.
Maria Portokalos: Oh! You think you're smarter than me, huh?
Gus Portokalos: No, I... I mean... You... you know...

Gus Portokalos: Kimono, kimono, kimono. Ha! Of course! Kimono is come from the Greek word himona, is mean winter. So, what do you wear in the wintertime to stay warm? A robe. You see: robe, kimono. There you go!

Ian Miller: May I please date your daughter?
Gus Portokalos: NO!

Put some Windex.

Give me a word, any word, and I show you that the root of that word is Greek.

Gus Portokalos: Where are you going?
Toula Portokalos: I'm taking a pottery class.
Gus Portokalos: Ah! The Greeks invented pottery. Hmph.

There are two kinds of people - Greeks, and everyone else who wish they was Greek.

You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end ... we all fruit.

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