Dr. Jules Hilbert: What is your favorite word?
Harold Crick: Integer.

Karen Eiffel: Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself, in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat.
Harold Crick: This is my stop I should go.
Karen Eiffel: He was elated and surprised by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Mrs. Pascal. So elated that he exited the transit authority bus a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk.

Ana Pascal: [to cast-covered Harold] So what happened?
Harold Crick: I stepped in front of a bus.
Ana Pascal: What? Why?
Harold Crick: There was a boy I had to pull out of the way?
Ana Pascal: What?
Harold Crick: There was this boy, I had to...
Ana Pascal: You stepped in front of a bus to save a boy?
Harold Crick: I had to. I didn't have a choice.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Aren't you relieved to know that you're not a golem?
Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.

This might not mean anything to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy.

Ana Pascal: Did you like the cookies?
Harold Crick: Yes. Thank you for forcing me to eat them.

You're invisible and you'd choose Space Camp?

I may already be dead, just not typed.

Harold Crick: So, you are a frequenter of the Metropolitan Transit Authority too?
Ana Pascal: No. I'm just late.

Harold Crick: It's not schizophrenia! I just hear a voice in my head
Dr. Mittag-Leffler: It's schizophrenia

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Harold Crick

Harold Crick Pushing Paper

Harold Crick is an IRS auditor who's been content to live his life alone.  Harold's life completely changes when he begins to hear his life narrated by a woman with a British accent and a bigger vocabulary than his.

The woman tells him that he is going to die so he seeks the help of Professor Jules Hilbert to help him figure out who this narrator is and hopefully in time.

Played By
Will Ferrell
Full Name
Harold Crick