Jane Aubrey: You ever gotten your heart broken?
Billy Chapel: Yeah. When we lost the pennant in '87.

Jane Aubrey: So, when you're away, I'll live my life and you'll live yours. And none of this stupid bullshit "why didn't you call me?" crap. And "what you do when you're not with me has nothing to do with me" and vice versa. No questions asked, no worrying, no obsessing.
Billy Chapel: That sounded perfect.

Jane Aubrey: What if my face was all scraped off and I was totally disfigured and had no arms and legs and I was completely paralyzed. Would you still love me?
Billy Chapel: No. But we could still be friends.

Jane Aubrey: Do you lose very much?
Billy Chapel: I lose. I've lost 134 times.
Jane Aubrey: You count them?
Billy Chapel: We count everything.

Jane Aubrey: I need a regular guy. Not the guy in the Old Spice commercials.
Billy Chapel: It was Right Guard.
Jane Aubrey: What?
Billy Chapel: It was Right Guard, not Old Spice.
Jane Aubrey: I was being metaphorical.

Jane Aubrey: It's not mine.
Billy Chapel: You mean it doubles as a flashlight?

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