You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."

Yo, you guys are gonna miss this shit! The big guy's gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!

Teen #1: How about a nickel bag?
Jay: Fifteen bucks, lit-tle man. Put that shit in my hand. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong.
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] He likes to sing.

I was taking a piss when I heard the news, congratulations!

Teen #1: You holding?
Jay: Shit, everything except coke, heroin, and your cock!

Elias: Fuck Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like pussy!
Jay: [Looks at Silent Bob] Yo, we love pussy!

That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.

Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aww, fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time.

I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!

Jay: Maybe he's got a message on him, like in Con Air.
Rufus: Aww, man, did that movie suck!
Jay: [hiding behind silent Bob] Kill it, kill it!
Rufus: Con Air, Con Shit!

Jay: You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.
Bethany: I'll keep that in mind.

[waking from a dream] I didn't cum on you, Pete, I swear.

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Jay

Jay and Silient Bob

Jay is the loud, obnoxious half of the drug dealing duo, Jay and Silent Bob.  Jay is generally the reason the pair end up on all their crazy adventures.

Played By
Jason Mewes
Full Name
Jay