Jay: Guys like us just don't fall out of the fucking sky, you know.
[Rufus falls out of the sky]
Jay: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know.

Jay: All right, but let's say we're caught in a situation where we've got like five minutes to live, like a bomb or something is gonna go off. Would you fuck us then?
Bethany: In that highly unlikely situation? Yeah, sure.
Jay: She's a slut. Bunnnng.

Rufus: You are the great great great great great GREAT great grand-niece ... of Jesus Christ.
Jay: So that would make Bethany... part black?

Bethany: What are you doing?
Jay: Proving to this bastard I ain't gay.
Bethany: What?
Rufus: Long story, forget it.

Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.

Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.

I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar.

Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

Jay: Get offa me. I wanna see what's up. What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head?
Metatron: Quite a little mouth on him, isn't there?
Jay: What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?
Metatron: I believe the answers that you seek lie within my companion's eyes.
Jay: What the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head? I want some...
[God kisses him on the cheek. Jay faints]

Bethany: McHenry is pretty far from Jersey, might I ask what brings you guys to Illinois?
Jay: Some fuck named John Hughes.
Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes?
Jay: You know him too? That fucking guy.

Jay: If today is Tuesday and the movie starts filming on Friday, we have... eight days.
Holden: Uh, three by my count, but close.
Jay: Right. My bad. Three days to stop that fucking movie from getting made. Come on, Silent Bob. We're going to Hollywood!

And I can't believe fine-ass bitches like yourselves eat that shit. Don't you know fast food makes girls fart?

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Jay

Jay and Silient Bob

Jay is the loud, obnoxious half of the drug dealing duo, Jay and Silent Bob.  Jay is generally the reason the pair end up on all their crazy adventures.

Played By
Jason Mewes
Full Name
Jay