Schmidt: You guys called the cops to get your Frisbee out of the pond? Is this really a police matter?
Jenko: [goes to hand Frisbee back to the boy, turns around and throws it back in the pond]
Jenko: Get your own (expletive) Frisbee!
Don't feed the ducks... don't do it!
Doves make you look bad-ass!
Deputy Chief Hardy: We're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the 80s. You idiots are officially transferred.
Jenko: Where do we report?
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 21 Jump Street.
Not So Slim Shady, what's up? I haven't seen you since high school...
Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.
Deputy Chief Harvey: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
Deputy Chief Harvey: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...
(Expletive) you science!