Joel Goodson: You know, Bill, there's one thing I learned in all my years. Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fuck. Make your move."
Rutherford: I beg your pardon?

Joel Goodson: Porsche. There is no substitute.
Miles: Fuck you.

[after Joel's Princeton interview]
Lana: So, how're we doin'?
Joel Goodson: Looks like University of Illinois!

Joel Goodson: So is this Guido guy... he's your manager?
Lana: That's right.
Joel Goodson: Or a pimp?
Lana: Now that's quick Joel. Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?

College women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.

Joel Goodson: Don't steal anything. If I come back here and anything's missing, I'm going straight to the police. I mean it.
Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.

Joel Goodson: When it came right down to it, I just wasn't attracted to her.
Miles: That should never stop you.

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