Yo, I gotsta have sex tonight!

Yearbook Girl: Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook.
Kenny Fisher: No, thanks. No time.
Yearbook Girl: Come on. Where's your school spirit? Go, Hot Dogs!
DJ Sammy: Bitch, get a life!

I better double bag it. I don't know where that girl been.

[after he spills water on his pants] Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!

Kenny Fisher: Those shoes!
Denise: What?
Kenny Fisher: Do they serve an orthopedic function?

Kenny Fisher: Yo, I'm just pausin' while those two hos over there scratch it out over who gets to knock the boots with me!
[silence]
Kenny Fisher: Ya know what I'm saying? Yeah!
Ritchie Koolboy: What two ho's?
DJ Sammy: I don't see no ho's yo.

Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.

[to Denise Fleming] I did not write 'Denise Fleming is a tampon' on your locker!

[thinking] All right this is it. It is finally time for Kenny Fisher to become... da man. Now I've done my laps, and all ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo. Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?

Kenny Fisher: 'Sup, ladies? Yo Jana, wanna dance?
Jana: I'm allergic.
Kenny Fisher: You're allergic to dancing?
Jana: Yeah.

Kenny Fisher: I mean peep this - They say here 92 percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. 92 percent of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" 92 percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a 92 percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.

Kenny Fisher: Do you, uh... what a drink?
Stoned Girl: Okay.
Kenny Fisher: Uh... how 'bout I poison it?
Stoned Girl: Okay.

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