Louis Winthorpe III: Randolph. Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis Winthorpe III: Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
Mortimer Duke: We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis Winthorpe III: [laughs] Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.

[to Penelope] Those men wanted to have sex with me!

Louis Winthorpe III

Louis Winthorpe III: [after ruining the Dukes] Happy New Year!
Randolph Duke: [hoarsely] Winthorpe.
Mortimer Duke: [stunned] Valentine.
Billy Ray Valentine: Hey! How'd y'all make out today?
Mortimer Duke: How could you do this to us after everything we've done for you?
Billy Ray Valentine: Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. See, Louis bet me that we couldn't both get rich and put y'all in the poor house at the same time. He didn't think we could do it. I won.
Louis Winthorpe III: [grinning] I lost... One dollar.
Billy Ray Valentine: Thank you, Louis.
Louis Winthorpe III: After you.
Billy Ray Valentine: Certainly.

Louis Winthorpe III: Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph!
Billy Ray Valentine: Lionel! From the African Education Conference!
Louis Winthorpe III: Yah, mon, I was Director of Cultural Activities at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
Billy Ray Valentine: I remember the pavilion - we had big fun there!
Both: Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah! Boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, boo-boo yah, hah!
Billy Ray Valentine: Oh, memories!

He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.

Louis Winthorpe III

Louis Winthorpe III: Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah, we got to kill the motherfuckers - we got to kill 'em!

I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.

Louis Winthorpe III

Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray!
Billy Ray: Feeling good, Louis!

Billy Ray Valentine: You can't go around shooting people in the kneecaps just because your pissed at them.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?

Billy Ray Valentine: You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barrelled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?
Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis Winthorpe III: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.

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